BS”D
Paying a fine
When you catch yourself going into a negative mindset, where you are feeling entitled and complaining, “pay yourself a fine” of finding the good.
What this means is: before you can give an additional complaint, you must first find 3 positive things to say about the situation. Do this whether you are speaking to another person or even if you are just having a conversation in your own head.
My mom used to make my sister and I do this when we were little. When we wanted to complain about something that happened that day, she would encourage us to find 3 positive things that happened, before sharing the negative thing. It helped us put the negative thing into a larger context of good, and helped us learn how to look for the good. Sometimes you have to search hard to find the positive, but it’s worth it.
What if we didn’t wait till these things broke in order to appreciate? What if we felt the gratitude for our health, when we were healthy? What if we appreciated what a helpful blessing it is to have a washing machine or a car when these things are actually working normally.
There is a special blessing in Judaism to make after each time a person uses the bathroom. When I first learned about this, I thought it seemed a bit strange. However, upon deeper exploration, I have come to appreciate the message of this blessing. Giving thanks that all the complex and intricate parts of our body are functioning correctly – that every tube that is meant to be open is open, and every cavity that is meant to be closed is closed – is a simple, yet profound, message of gratitude. Let’s feel grateful for the things that are working in our lives – and not wait until something is broken to appreciate it.
By Yael Zvia Bauer
