BS’D
The basis of Torah is emuna in Hashem. Hashem awaits our return no matter what happens and despite our mistakes and deficiencies. Though it may be difficult to grasp intellectually and even emotionally, this concept of complete acceptance when we return represents emet Torah.
This month our relationship with Hashem takes a different turn – one of love weaved with reverence. Chodesh Elul holds tremendous power because it affects the entire following year. Generally, we are under the false impression that we deserve and have a right to everything we have and own. We become accustomed to our lives. For instance, our ability to see today leads me to assume we will see – and have a right to see – tomorrow. We presume that because Hashem has gifted us with life today, we deserve our life and our standard of living. Yet, this is falsehood in its truest form. We are constantly subject to Hashem’s endless compassion and care. For instance, Hashem owns our bodies to us and lends them to us every day because he trusts us and has mercy on us.
Though Hashem is close to us, we still ‘fear’ our impending judgment. This month is a time of great trepidation which should be used to motivate us to ‘return.’ Even if we don’t consciously grasp the idea of judgment or feel heartfelt fear, we are taught to create within ourselves a feeling of awe over the impending collective and individual decrees to be decided on Rosh Hashanah.
The days leading to Yom Kippur are known as Yemei Ratzon (the days of desire/true will). Implanting the desire to return from our erred roads and come back to Hashem is the main avodah of this important month. This month we open our hearts and plead, “Ha’Shiveinu Hashem Elecha v’Nashuva… (Help us return to You, and we shall return…).”
Yet, how can we practically achieve this level of awe and thus be motivated to return if we do not feel it? First, we can know there are two paths in front of us – a pathway to Gan Eden and a pathway to Gehinom. Second, we can actively and constantly remind ourselves of Hashem’s kindness, mercy and compassion by pointing out how much worse our lives could be. By acknowledging that we are ‘hanging’ by a rope, unsure of what the future has in store and reminding ourselves how every blessing can be taken away by Him in an instant, we build our desire to please our Aba and return to Him.
