Tag Archives: teshuva

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Teshuva & Elul ~ Part I

September 19, 2016
Orit Esther Riter
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We are all in need of tremendous rachamei Shamayim, both individually and collectively as a Jewish nation. It is a mitzvah to respond to every crisis which we face by crying out to Hashem in tefilla.

All our emptiness and feeling of lack originally stems from a lack of spirituality. Our neshamot are crying to be heard and paid attention. Teshuva is a gift which is the antidote to this spiritual sickness. “For I am Hashem who heals you” (Exodus 15:26). As we come to understand ourselves and strive to fulfil ourselves spiritually, we bring comfort to our soul.

Elul represents 29 days of fixing and restoring our broken marriage with Borei Olam. Repairing our relationship with Hashem starts with 3 simple words, “I’m sorry”. We have 29 days to explore our true state, our misdemeanors, and to outline the reasons why we are sorry.

Elul represents a spiritual turning point of the year. It is a time of self-accounting and contemplation reflected through prayers and the blowing of the shofar. We seek refuge in Hashem and hope that He will hear our heartfelt prayers and accept our true regret.

During Elul, we can ask ourselves deep and honest questions such as:

  • Am I upset with Hashem, chas v’Shalom?
  • Do I have complaints?
  • Do I need to ‘forgive’ Hashem before He forgives me?
  • In what areas do I continue to make mistakes?
  • What can I do to improve?

The AriZal teaches that the true Elul experience is the fleeing of one’s sins in fear and desperation and the search for Divine protection. Rav Soloveitchik ztk’l teaches that the selichot we daven during Elul are different than everyday tefillot. They are a tza’aka (a deep cry). Selichot are more intense and compulsive. They are encapsulated by the words, “Aneinu Hashem Aneinu!” a plea for Hashem to answer us.

Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Eliyah ben Yeshua. May Hashem bless him with a complete healing b’riut hanefesh v’b’iut haguf among all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.

The Craving Soul

September 13, 2016
Orit Esther Riter
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This month is filled with bracha. What is a blessing? Rashi explains a bracha simply: getting a lot when you do a little. We merit great abundance without having to invest a lot of time and effort. This is the power of Elul.

Unfortunately many of us don’t open up the gift called Chodesh Elul. We hide from ourselves and from Hashem. Adam and Chava also tried to hide from Hashem. How can we imagine hiding from ‘Eyes’ that see it all? We can’t. Admitting our mistakes and feeling the pain of embarrassment is part and parcel with the atonement process.

Let us not assume that the teshuva process is a one-time event. It is a gradual process. Development and self-growth occurs in stages and requires patience. It is an up-and-down process, no instant change. We are not expected to finish it, but to start. Teshuva is based on one founding principle; ratzon, a heartfelt desire to make the wrong right. In fact Rebbe Natan ztk’l the foremost disciple of Rebbe Nachman ztk’l teaches the entire reason the soul comes down into this world is for her to crave and seek Hashem and His Torah. The farther away from the object of love, the greater one’s desire to have it.

In this world our soul achieves wholeness through her ratzon to unite back with Hashem. Our longing to bond with Hashem is what opens the pipeline of bracha this month.

Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated to the complete refuah of Dov Nechemya HaCohen ben Rachel Chaya Sara a beautiful young man who has been battling a horrible spout of cancer for so long.  May Hashem send him a complete healing, b’riut hanefesh v’b’riut haguf among all Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’rachamim, b’karov, Amen.

The Grand Ballroom

September 12, 2016
Orit Esther Riter
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I recently heard an amazing vort given by Rav Lugasi Shlit’a. It describes the unbelievable opportunity Hashem gives us during Elul to recount and realign ourselves emotionally and spiritually.

Think of this month in the following manner. You are invited into a grand ballroom rented for a month by Hashem Himself. This room is filled with top lawyers. It is equipped with comfy chairs, air conditioning, background music and all the works. We are all invited to enter this room from Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul without charge until Yom Kippur. Everyone is invited; no racism.

In this room the lawyers give insights on how to be acquitted on our day of judgment. These lawyers in affect come in the form of sifrei mussar, Torah classes, our ratzon to right the wrong and times we allot to do cheshbon nefesh (self-accounting). We have one month to get our ‘act’ together and do some serious thinking and realigning.

Who opened this room and service to Klal Yisrael? The prosecutor Himself, Hashem our Beloved Father. Hashem wants to close the books and have us cleared of all charges. All year long we need to find our own lawyers and prepare the case on our own. This month we receive a special flow of Divine assistance from Hashem Himself. Thank You Hashem!

Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Dovid Yosef ben Leah. May Hashem bless him with a complete healing b’riut hanefesh v’b’iut haguf among all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.

Crying Out to Hashem

September 6, 2016
Orit Esther Riter
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Tehillim (77:2): “Koli el Elokim v’etzaka koli el Elokim v’haazin alai (My voice is to Hashem and I shall cry out; my voice is to Hashem and listen to me)” – How do we feel when we cry out to Hashem?

On an intellectual level most of us believe that Hashem listens and answers our prayers; but do we believe this in our heart? This is an essential question to ponder ahead of doing teshuva since if we don’t feel Hashem cares about us, what motivates us to want to talk to Him and work on mending our relationship?

This month is focused on teshuva; to return.  Where do we need to return?  Sefer Yirmiyahu writes (31:20), “Return Virgin of Israel, return to these, your cities.”  We are the virgin who has the opportunity to return to our betrothed groom to the land rebuilt (Har Sinai). We remember being there, our souls are still connected to this special place and time.  Internally we crave to unite once again with our Creator and experience Oneness; we long to return to Gan Eden.  Awareness of Hashem’s presence becomes faint as the years pass and we forget how beloved we are.

Let us use this month to recall that special love, the unique relationship we share with our Creator.  There was a time where we saw the tree as well as its roots; wholesome vision and connection to its source. Now we are in conflict and must remember what we once had.

Let’s cry to Hashem that we merit to feel His closeness and absolute love.

 

A Broken Heart – Part II

August 25, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

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Today daily dose of emuna is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Rav Ze’ev Ya’akov Moshe ben Chaya, Rabbi Zev Leff. May Hashem shower him with a complete recovery among all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.

One of the greatest ‘unknowns’ of sin is revealed in the Zohar HaKadosh, Parshat Pinchas.  When a person sins he draws onto himself ‘ruach tumah’, an impure spirit.  This impurity directs a person towards arrogance.  Therefore the initial stages of teshuva must include a crushing of haughtiness; in other words a broken heart filled with humility.

Let’s understand – this essence of impurity rules man.  It affects all avenues of his life; decisions, emotions, values, desires, etc.  The only way to free oneself from the grips of superiority is to recall Hashem’s greatness and mankind’s eternal dependency on Hashem for everything.  In fact when Ahm Yisrael would bringkorbanot to the Beit HaMikdash to atone for their transgressions, the condition that Hashem accept them was that they come with a broken heart.  In the event not, thekorban was given to the dogs, literally.  Hashem does not ‘need’ the korban, but ‘yearns’ that the spirit of impurity cease control over the person.

A broken heart though must not exceed certain guidelines.  Indeed, the Kotzer Rebbe ztk’l who was known to say, ‘There is nothing more whole than a broken heart’ also taught it is never a positive thing to dwell too much on our sins for then we begin to take on an added negative power over our soul. Some signs to watch for; when an inner voice echoes refusal to forgive, one finds himself distant from Hashem’s warm forgiveness and feels lost, or one finds himself drawn more so to acts of wickedness because his relationship with Hashem has weakened as opposed to strengthened through teshuva.

The passuk in Tehillim 82 reads, “You are G-dlike beings, all of you sons of the most High”. We are all Hashem’s children.  We get lost sometimes.  Through fair self-judgment we can find our way home.

A Broken Heart – Part I

August 24, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

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There is a mandatory step that one must take before beginning the teshuva process; hachna’ah (surrendering oneself).  The Chovot Halevavot expounds – one must feel that in and of oneself he is nothing without Hashem. All of man’s successes, strength and talents are solely bestowed to him as a Divine gift. Furthermore, each person merits protection from harm only due to Hashem’s endless compassion; not as a result of his actions.

Taking this one step further, we should place our entire beings into Hashem’s hands and rely only on His kindness and not take pride at any time or place.  To put it simply; be humble before Hashem, know that everything is a gift, nothing belongs to you.  How can we attempt to enter into the gates of teshuva while feeling that we are powerful and deserving?   The Rambam ztk’l yet adds that if we feel undeserving of the trials and tribulations we are experiencing, this will undoubtedly hinder our ability to achieve complete atonement.

Teshuva requires that we enter into a state of lev neeshbar (a broken heart). The Midrash writes, “Rebbi Yehoshua ben Levi says great are those with a broken heart for at the time of the Beit HaMikdash man brought korban olah and korban mincha (depending on the need).  However, when man came forth with a broken heart it was as though he brought both sacrificies.”  

The passuk in Tehillim (34:18), “Hashem is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit” echoes the same thought on how close one feels when he acknowledges how much he needs Hashems to restore his life.

Can’t Get Closer Than That

August 19, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

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Rabbi Eliezer Papo the Pele Yoetz ztk’l writes that when we pray Shemoneh Esrei at the place of mechayei maitim we should have the intent that Hashem bring back to teshuva all of the holy Jewish souls who have gone astray from the Torah path; since Torah living revives the soul back to life.

The Maharal ztk’l teaches in his book Netiv Hateshuvah – just as mankind was first created without illness, so too when Klal Yisrael comes back to teshuva they return to the perfected state of Adam HaRishon before the sin. He continues and adds that the Ba’al Teshuva touches the Holy Throne as written in Hoshea (14:2), “Shuva Yisrael Ad Hashem Elokecha…(Return Israel to Hashem your G-d)” – bigger is teshuva that touches the Kisei Hakavod where Adam HaRishon was brought down. Teshuva remedies the soul and brings it back as though no sin ever was.

Sin causes malady to the individual and to the world; therefore teshuva showers healing to oneself and to the world. Rav Yechezkel Levenstein ztk’l clarifies teshuva should not be seen as simply a means of erasing our wrongdoing; it is a mitzvah in its own right. Aside from the irreplaceable benefit it provides, teshuva is a mitzvah created by Hashem prior to the creation of this world. Through teshuva we can mamash cleave to Hashem Yitborach.

All mitzvot enable a degree of closeness, yet teshuva enables the soul to ‘touch’ so to speak the Holy Throne. The gematria of Kisei Hakavod and teshuva are equal = 713. Although the understanding of Hashem’s Throne of Glory is deeply complex and beyond human thought, we understand it to be a place of eternal splendor and goodness; where all life is raised and nourished.

No Trade-Ins

August 18, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

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What does it mean to be forgiven by Hashem for our transgressions?  First let’s consider the idea that Hashem forgives, not His emissaries or angels, but ‘He, Himself’ as is written in Tehillim (130:4), “ki Eemcha hasileecha … (For forgiveness is with You…)”

Essentially forgiveness cleanses the soul from stains caused by sin.  We learn this through the passukim in Yeshayahu (4:4), “When Hashem shall have washed away the filth of the daughters of Tzion…” and Yechezkel (36:25), “And I will sprinkle clean water upon you, and you will be clean; from all your impurities…” Hashem ‘desires’ that our soul be ‘dressed’ in white garb, free of stains which acts as barriers in our relationship with Him.

When a mitzvah is done it ascends to the highest heights.  Yet, a transgression has no entry to that place.  From here we witness Hashem’s endless compassion.  A person’s mitzvah is shown before Hashem’s holy throne, yet their sins are not.  Mitzvot are priceless and cannot be compensated for in this lowly world (aside from some mentioned in the Torah).  Additionally they cannot be ‘traded in’ to lessen the bearing of our sins.

Hashem honors each mitzvah with a reward in due time.  A person’s transgressions do not reduce the eternal treasure due to be given in return of a mitzvah.   Teshuva is the most favorable of G-dly options to get rid of our transgressions.  Hashem ‘patiently awaits’ our return.  It is near. It is here. It is readily available for the taking in Chodesh Elul.

‘Poof’ Goes the Prosecutor!

August 17, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

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Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated to the strength, clarity and emuna of Bat-El bat Tziona who recently was widowed by her young husband who was tragically killed in a car accident. Now left with three small children, may Hashem guide her path with special love, care and attention and may no one in Klal Yisrael know of any more sorrow, Amen.

One of Hashem’s 13 middot of Rachamim is ‘Noseh Avohn v’Pesha (Hashem is the ‘carrier’ of sins)’.  Each sin creates a prosecuting angel.  Each creation must be sustained for it to exist.  The angels created by our transgressions come before Hashem and demand sustenance.  According to the strict letter of the law the person who created the angel must nourish its needs.  Yet if that were the case he would be subject to harsh pain or death.  Hashem, in His Infinite Compassion ‘feeds’ the angel until one of three things occurs to that person: teshuva is done, difficulties arise or chas v’Shalom gehinnom comes to remedy.

The lesson here is deep and heart-stirring.  Hashem ‘accepts’ to sustain the evil creature that was created through a person’s sin all the while patiently waiting for him to do teshuva so that he may repair the damage he initiated and caused Hashem to bear.

‘Ve’Oveir al Pesha (Hashem passes over sins)’- once a transgression is committed there is no ‘natural’ means in which the consequences can be overturned.  The destructive angel that was created to destroy the transgressor is not going away. Nonetheless Hashem gives Klal Yisrael the ability to do teshuva which can put an end to the angel altogether.  By doing teshuva Hashem forgives us, we clean our soiled soul and erase the effect caused by the sin.

Thank you Hashem for the gift of teshuva.

Upside-Down World

August 12, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

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Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Miriam bat Gittel (Meyer) and
Faiga Sarah bat Bracha Chaya (Meirowitz), the two girls injured in the horrific car accident in Arizona, where two of their friends were killed Reizel Morgenstern A’H and Hindy Spira A’H. May Hashem shower them with a complete healing refuat hanefesh v’refuat haguf and for the families of the niftarim that Hashem should give them strength to go through this difficult time. May we yell out ‘Di l’tzaroteinu’, no more suffering, no more tragedies… how much more can we handle? Hashem… Hashem…

Indeed, we are enduring so much pain and tragedy; a very difficult time for Klal Yisrael.  It is written in the Shema that the words of the Torah “…shall be upon your heart.”  What is the underlying message to the Jewish people?  Why must we etch them into our hearts?

Hashem foresaw that we will transgress and be lead astray.  Hashem foretold the exile and knew we would feel as though we were forsaken. Hashem foreknew that His face would be hidden from us. Yet with that promise Hashem also reassured the Jewish people that He would not let the exile begin to repair the damage of our estrangement until we were strong enough in Torah to have the means to survive the long and dark time ahead.  In the merit of Torah study and cleaving to its eternal message we would find the strength to rise above the ashes, do teshuva and carve our pathway back to the holy mission intended upon formation.

All we have is our holy Torah, a personal letter written by Hashem to the Jewish people, left to console us and give us the strength needed to survive until the complete redemption arrives.  Its message must be engraved in our minds, mouths and actions at every moment.  It is vital that we read and re-read its messages and allow the words of Infinite wisdom guide us.

It is essential that we heed the message of emuna and never forget that we live in an upside down world and nothing is as it appears, only as Hashem promises will be revealed as ultimately good.  May we merit to see it soon, b’rachamim, Amen.

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